Thursday, March 13, 2008

My Butt Hurts Just Thinking About It

Every now and then I start to feel bad about myself and the fact that I don't get out more. For instance, there was that one day last week when I didn't even set foot outside the house until it was time to pick up the girls at school, and even then I pulled a half-pajama maneuver, stayed in the car and used my cell phone to summon them to the van. It's crazy behavior, and if this keeps up I'll be one of those sad women you see at the the grocery store, wandering the aisles in their bathrobe and arguing about produce with their imaginary friend.

But then I see a headline like this, and I start to feel a whole lot better about myself.

Woman Sits On Boyfriend's Toilet For 2 Years

Apparently a woman in Kansas literally sat on a toilet for two years. Her boyfriend finally called the sheriff last month to report that "something was wrong" with his girlfriend, that maybe hanging out on the pot for 730 days straight just may be out of the realm of normal behavior. He says he brought her food and water, and "asked her everyday to come out of the bathroom."

I'm wondering if he asked her nicely, or did he use that hostile tone that most men use when they want their girlfriends to come out of the bathroom after two years. For instance, did he say, "Honey, do you think you could come out now" or did he say, "Bitch, get your fat ass off that crapper." It makes all the difference in the world.

The story goes on to say that the woman's skin had grown around the seat. “We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” the sheriff said. “The hospital removed it.”

And then I started to sympathize, since sometimes the only way I can get even a minute to myself is if I'm in the bathroom, and even then I'm in constant fear that someone will burst in needing homework help or asking for gum. Maybe this woman just had a really, really rough day, grabbed a stack of Oprah magazines and a 60-pak of toilet paper and decided to head on in for a little 'me' time.


(You can read the entire story here.)
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tags: | woman on toilet for 2 years!


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6 comments:

Nancy said...

When I first read the story, I didn't catch the length of time she'd been in the bathroom. I assumed maybe 2 or 3 days... but 2 YEARS??? What the heck did the boyfriend do when he, um, needed to go? (And how the heck do you maintain a relationship like that for 2 years???)

Anonymous said...

OMG. WTF?

I'm speechless. My butt hurts, too.

-annie

Moobs said...

What set my mind boggling was the boyfriend's comment that everything was normal in their relationship apart from the fact that she never got off the loo.

shelly said...

I thought this was a joke until I read the entire story.

Now I don't feel so bad about sitting in the tub for an hour.

Lin said...

Yeah, I was all over that story, too as that kind of crap fascinates me. I'm assuming they had two toilets in their house or do you think he used the one down the street at the gas station...for two yearsa.

Anonymous said...

marsha,
hey its sarah fujimoto! hey i like reading your stuff. i was reading about american idol...who yall rooting for? We have a friend's tv temporarily and no hook up so theres no way to watch it...except you tube...yes! so, ive been keeping up to date by watching you tube videos of the show. i'm not sure of my fav...a lot are good. Hope your well!

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